Have you ever felt what it feels like to be black?
It gets deep, don’t it?
But right now, I’m talking about being black in those times when some wreckless, racist shit be going on in your presence and the minute you finally decide to speak on it …
Now, YOU the bad person.
Now, YOU the one pulling the race card.
We do be playing cards but it be more of a joker, joker, deuce, deuce type of situation.
If you’ve never experienced, at the bare minimum, this simple facet of oppression or something close to it – consider yourself blessed.
But yea, HIV can have a similar feel to it at times.
The thing about it is that I ain’t even know there was a figurative HIV card, though.
Life keeps teaching me.
Sometimes, people be thinking you are just paranoid and hypersensitive. You know, that you’re overreacting and that you need to calm down.
I’m learning to stand firm in my truths cus it just is what it be.
🗣 Maybe there’s actually a fucking reason the oppressed feel the way they do.
Check this one out …
So this one time I worked this job that only had like 8 employees, including myself.
We served many, many participants living with special needs.
It was a very close work environment.
Sorta something like a family.
I was the last one inducted and the youngest in the room.
So I was a little out of place.
But they seemed to welcome me.
Well at least most of them did.
From the day I walked into that place, I had already got the sense that I wasn’t this one lady’s cup of tea.
I guess it’s cus I went in there shaking shit up. I actually care about people. That’s all.
I started taking the participants out into the community and stuff. Because they deserve to live too. I wasn’t afraid of them.
And utilizing the kitchen space that was there for them to use. We made Rice Krispy treats and everything. They were amazing and my participants learned they were capable.
The more I showed care and concern for the people who we were there to serve, the nastier this lady’s disposition became towards me.
Y’all know me, HIV ain’t a thing.
So I disclosed my status to the staff one day.
I didn’t think anything of it because we were already working with people with special needs.
I had a special need, too. Just different.
Apparently, I was too different.
It was just a hunch. You might get something different from it.
But, everyday lunch was delivered to the facility and the one lady that didn’t like me would make all the staff a plate after she had served the participants.
Then, we would join at the table to eat and converse.
Same thing everyday. Like clock work.
But it was this one day that was different because they didn’t deliver the norm of a three-course meal.
It was pizza this time.
So the boxes sat on table and the other staff were grabbing their slices and putting them on their plates.
No harm. No foul.
That is, until it was my turn to get fed.
Do you know that this woman appeared from, what seemed like nowhere, all suited up with gloves and shit …
… just to make my fucking plate!?!?! 😑
It was kinda weird.
Like more than weird.
But did I say something?
Because then I woulda been accused of pulling that HIV card.
She would have denied what she was doing. She would have covered up her intentions by saying something like she was just following health regulations or some other mess to make it seem like she wasn’t being offensive.
And the majority would have fell for it.
Tip: Even if you have to stand by yourself, live your truth. It feels so good.
No one, in their right mind, would come out and admit that they were acting out of some sort of prejudice or whatever.
No one will admit that their ignorance misled their actions.
But I peeped it, like I usually do.
What not to do: Don’t give that misery no company.
So you know what I did?
I started getting close to her.
You know, making my arm brush hers in passing or some shit.
I started asking her unnecessary questions so she had no choice but to talk to me.
I started getting even closer to the participants. They loved me for it too.
And that burned her up.
My thoughts then: Aaahaa! I got HIV and they love meeee!
My thoughts now: Aaahaa! I got HIV and they still love meeee!
Plus, keep your fucking pizza. I don’t need to be eating that shit no way.
+ Ci Ci +