Come on man.
I know we don’t want to talk about, or even think about it.
But we got to.
Read: Kinfolk messin wit kinfolk.
Uhhh, that’s pretty uncomfortable.
It was something that I thought only happened in certain households.
But in speaking more with professionals who counsel for a living, I have learned that incest is more common than what one would think.
Especially more than what you would expect in our community.
This made me think.
When I started examining the myself and the people around me, it didn’t take me long to have to admit:
Yup, that was incest. Somebody was lying. No, a lot of people was lying.
Check it …
One person that I know is the product of a incestuous rape.
And it’s fucked up.
The stepfather was raping his wife’s daughter from a very young age. Like, for some years.
And in her early teens, she ended up getting pregnant by him.
I can only imagine …
your underdeveloped body carrying the unwanted seed of your rapist. 😢
But what else was she supposed to do?
The wife was made aware of what was going on.
And I guess she gave permission for the madness to continue.
Tip: Silent permission = approval. Bottom line.
Like, really how could you help hide the fact that your husband impregnated your own child?
They swept that shit under the rug for years.
The child was born thinking the mother was their sister and everything.
And the sisters were Aunties.
And so on.
Until, one day when all of that crashed.
Somebody had to go and open their big mouth.
Yaaasssss Big Mouth!
But can you imagine?
One day, you minding your business and you find out that your whole life was a lie.
Like, a whole made up story.
Ya ma ain’t really ya ma.
She’s your grandmother.
And yes, that means your sister is really your Mom.
It’s so twisted man.
But for some people, this is their reality.
How many people had to help keep this particular secret for so long?
Who was being protected in this situation?
It sure wasn’t either one of those children.
Neither the one being molested OR the one who was the product of the molestation.
Now, I know we be trying to act like we all perfect and stuff.
Was incest always so far fetched in our own lives?
Like, how many of us dry hunched cousins? This is not ok. Why was innocence gone so soon?
What about “Find a girl, freak a girl”? Were you always playing this with non-relatives?
Y’all might not even have done nothing for real, but why was this even a childhood game?
What about older family members inappropriately suggesting their sexual desires to younger members of the family?
I know a few who have experienced this.
Male AND female.
But we don’t talk about it.
Think about how many people walk around with this weight on them?
They won’t talk about it but they will quickly judge the young girl out there being all “fast.”
We don’t talk about it but yet sort of encourage promiscuity in males.
So now, many of them are out there fucking to cover up things they don’t want to remember …
or shoot, they could be subconsciously revisiting that trauma from their past because it’s familiar to them.
What not to do: Don’t keep putting shit under that rug. Somebody is going to trip. And it’s not going to be pretty.
We can heal.
BUT we have to first admit that we have been hurt.
Sometimes, even that hurts.
So go slow.
Can’t nobody tell you how fast to crawl.
+ Ci Ci +
* Here is a link if you don’t know how to be the one to say something.