This one time, I thought I was going to die.
I thought I was out of here.
And I wasn’t the one trying to do it this time.
Instead, it was at the hands of this dude.
Just this random that I had met in a random way.
Check it …
I met this guy when I moved back to the city via social media.
I had openly disclosed my status on the platform and this was the premise that he chose to initiate conversation.
In an e-mail, he confided in me that his mother had HIV and that he was fully aware of what I could have been experiencing emotionally at the time.
He was nice.
I was inexperienced and vulnerable.
He preached black love and
I was smitten.
We hung out for some time but then things started getting weird.
I thought everyone loved everyone else cus that’s how I was brought up.
And because we love each other, we would never intentionally hurt one another.
It never dawned on me that there are real-life evil dickheads that coexist among us.
But this dude, you see -he taught me real quick.
I thank God this time of my life didn’t last very long.
I thank God that I was able to make it out of the house that day …
and that I never went back.
Like, this dude was real life crazy!
So it was this one night that he got super drunk.
Ain’t no surprise. No one should be drinking malt liquor.
I have seen drunk before but this drunk’s drunk was fucking scary.
It was like he morphed into this entirely different person.
It’s all so clear and distorted all at the same time.
I remember being in the bathroom, which was the smallest, most rear room of his apartment.
While I was using it, he came back there in this sort of unprovoked raged.
I should have known something wasn’t cool because he started verbally assaulting me.
And for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what I had done to deserve how he was talking.
I remember him clenching a fistful of my locs into his hands.
I remember him telling me that I didn’t deserve to have them in my head because I wasn’t strong enough.
And that he should cut them off.
I remember him telling me that if he wanted to, he would,
take Zion’s mom from him right now.
I remember crying because I understood how quickly that could have become the case.
Somehow, we made it back to the living room.
This room was the closet to the exit.
And I played it cool.
I couldn’t let him know that I was eyeing the door knob to make sure that it was unlocked for when I made my dash for safety.
I couldn’t tell him that I had taken my sandals off so that they didn’t trip me up as I jetted for my car.
And I most certainly couldn’t have let him know that I thought he was fucking nuts and that I would never, ever, ever, ever allow him this close to me again.
So I sat there with hot tears and a red face. Waiting on my chance to be out.
And then it came.
It was a black dog.
I don’t even remember her name but that bitch saved me that day.
The idiot went to go lock her up in the same bathroom that I had just finessed my way out of.
And man …
the moment his foot crossed the threshold of the bathroom, I was out!
I dashed to my car, jumped in and locked the door.
Which I am so glad that I did because he actually ran out after me.
I don’t even remember starting the ignition.
He began banging on the driver side window and I threw that jawn into reverse.
And then into drive.
I left that maniac right there in the middle of the street.
You know how I am for sure he’s crazy?
Cus the next day he started calling my phone talking about why did I give him AIDS?
And why didn’t I tell him about my status?
But remember, that’s how we met.
Tip: Be careful y’all. You can see here how quickly someone can turn your positive HIV status around on you.
As I reflect on this situation, I believe that he told a lie even when he said his mother was living with the virus.
I believe that he smelled my willingness to make bad decisions.
I’m not quite sure what his intention was with me but it was clear that it wasn’t good.
You know, it sucks because you would think one would be able to discern the motives of someone else.
I done failed this test too many times.
What not to do: Do not think that evil has a look. Just like HIV, it can look like anything.
I’m so glad I made it out that day.
I’m so, so glad that that wasn’t the day that Zion’s mom got taken away from him … 😒
… at the hands of some crusty ass, broke ass, angry ass, abusive ass imbecile.
+ Ci Ci +
* I know it can be hard to get away sometimes. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has both an online chat option as well as a toll-free number. ❤️