Do you ever feel like you don’t know what you are doing?
Like you are just going with the motions of life?
Well, this is me like everyday.
I get up and do what I think I’m supposed to be doing.
I watch those around me to see if I’m doing it right.
And I’ve been doing this pretty much my whole life.
Then my birthday comes back around and I turn a year older.
Yup, I’m going up another number this weekend.
Still, I’m just as lost as I could be.
I’m a real adult now and society has these expectations of me
but I just want society to give me a minute.
I am just now coming to the realization that so many of my past life experiences are connected.
I’m still learning about my body.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around how I have a child?
I’ve accepted these things but yet I still have NO clue what I’m doing.
But how can this be?
I’ve been living this adult life for at least 12 years now, says this society beast.
I have been paying bills and even went to jury duty one time.
How I get to do all of this but I feel so immature and unprepared within myself?
Because, I just went with the flow.
Like you did.
When I didn’t know what I was doing – I just kept going anyways because I felt society expected me to.
I was too embarrassed to ask any questions.
I was too shame to say I didn’t know something.
Has this way of life always worked out for me?
I can tell you a few times how listening to society had me fucked up.
Exhibit A: Society said get married because shacking up is bad.
Lesson learned: I don’t think we using the same rule book.
Imma do it on my own terms the next time.
Exhibit B: Go to college right now! This is the only way you will get a good paying job.
Lesson learned: “Society” be scamming people.
I will not be confined by the related fields of my degrees.
Exhibit C: We wouldn’t lead you astray.
Lesson learned: They a got damned lie.
I can’t trust y’all.
In my almost 31 years of life, I have learned to put less pressure on myself when it comes to expectations.
I have learned that it is ok to live life and experience things – even if those around you don’t agree.
Tip: Live that life of YOURS.
Challenge Society and her beliefs.
Ask her why she feels the way she does.
Show Society that her way of thinking might be the one that’s off.
Live for you.
Don’t be afraid of judgment.
When they come for you simply tell them, “Go judge ya mom.”
And then drop the mic.
What not to do: Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t have it all together.
None of us do.
So yea, I’m about to have one more year under my belt.
And I still have no clue what I’m doing.
But I’m figuring it out.
And I’m loving every step of the process.
Read: Society kiss my ass.
+ Ci Ci +