Now that we are adults …
Is life what you thought that it would be?
All of those plans you had before experience tainted you –
do they still exist?
I’m talking about those extravagant goals and lifestyles that you used to discuss with your friends before life got real.
I know I’m not the only one that thought it would be a little different than how it turned out.
Read: WTF is this?!
I sure thought I was going to be happily married with a household of children working somewhere that afforded me the luxury of an indoor pool at home.
For sure, by the time I reached this decade of my life.
Welp, divorce and lack of work experience cut those dreams short real quick.
Bye bye pool.
At some point, I realized that this was a fantasy that could only be lived out on TV.
In other words, this goal was too big for me.
As as result of this, I have noticed that my goals have gotten a WHOLE LOT safer.
At one time I found myself praying just to get into an entry level position.
As the not-so-proud owner of a mortgage worth of student loans, I was praying for entry level.
One time when I was single, I would make safe prayers about the type of type of man that I wanted.
God send me a man.
Just a man.
And let me tell you something – it worked!
I set the safe goals and got exactly what I asked for.
An entry level job and a man.
(that was a sarcastic whoa, you hear what I say?)
But how ironic is it that these same things I had once prayed for had now began to sadden me?
The entry level position had me feeling like I wasn’t doing enough.
It made me feel like I was selling myself short.
It didn’t feel good to my soul.
I knew I deserved more than that.
And that man?
he was just that – a man.
Nothing to even write about.
And I knew I deserved more than that, too.
But these were Answered Prayers, though.
That’s all I asked for.
But I was not the least satisfied.
And I was low key mad at myself.
You know why?
Because I knew better.
I am confident in my ability to achieve my goals.
I am confident that if I ask something of myself, that I will work hard until I get.
And most importantly,
I have a relationship with The Creator.
And We talk often.
So why go so safe?
Tip: Dream like a child. Set goals like an adult.
I’m still working on this.
But I can tell you that I have gotten a lot better.
For one, I began being more specific in those things that I wanted to attract to my life.
Instead of seeking out entry level position, I began to go after the things that motivated my soul.
Even if they were bigger than me.
And I knew that there were certain qualities that I desired in a man – so I asked for those too.
And got him.
What not to do: Don’t count yourself out.
Ok, ok Ci – maybe not the indoor pool.
But one it that backyard will do.
From where I am right now, that will be some work.
But, I intentionally put myself in spaces that I feel too small for.
So I can grow.
I’m more specific with my prayers.
So I know how to move.
And each day I grow and learn.
Cus in the big picture, I am still a child.
+ Ci Ci +