I’m scared as shit to lose my mom.
Out of every person here on this Earth, she is the one I can’t bear thinking about losing.
This is where I get stuck, y’all.
In the places that I’m not whole.
And this is a big hole in my peace.
And that’s just the truth.
My mom is not old.
But she doesn’t have the health of so many other women I know that are around her age.
Plus, I keep getting older.
Which means that SHE keeps getting older.
And, no matter how much I know we don’t know the future …
I just have this huge fear that life will take its natural course and she will go before me.
AND WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA DO?
By now, I’m crying that cry I talked about in the previous post.
Cus, it hurts.
I probably won’t hardly proof read this one.
Or ever read it over again.
I don’t want this to be a reference for when she is no longer here.
What do kids do without their parents?
Who do girls call when they don’t know how to make the gravy thicker?
Or to complain about their spouse?
To any of you who may come across this who have experienced this loss before …
I admire your strength to keep going.
Just the thought of it makes me not want to wake up.
But I know it won’t be that easy.
Tip: I don’t have one. I’m fucking sad.
What not to do: God, please don’t take my mama.
I need her.
+ Ci Ci +